Telepathy makes me uneasy (so do blonde asians)

I don’t like very many people. If you didn’t know that about me, you’re probably one of the people I don’t care for. My dislike for so many of those that surround me on the daily make me worried sometimes. Not about being a negative, complaining whiner, but that someone somewhere can read my mind. What if my inner people-hating thoughts were revealed to the world?? Nothing good could ever come of that.

I’ve been reading/watching True Blood and its made me paranoid about mind readers. Even if you don’t know anything about the series, you can appreciate the telepathy makes me uncomfortable.

I just have so many thoughts about so many people. And not just the people that I see regularly. We’re talking strangers here. I judge and I judge harddd. And on most about everything. Maybe judge isn’t the right word. I’m more like… an opinionated observer. I see things that annoy me or I think are dumb and I simply have to comment. How could I possibly stay quiet when someone walks into an establishment that calls itself a coffee shop and question if there was any coffee to be had?? So what if someone were to know that I thought their significant other was significantly more attractive than them? Or that they look like they’ve never heard of a hair straightener. Or that somehow just their socks make them look trashy? They’d think I was shallow and rude and unworthy of their company. (I’d kind of prefer the latter one. I mean, if I’m thinking mean things about you I probably don’t want to be with you at all.)

I’ve always taken comfort in knowing that no one could know what I really thought. But mind-reading? That’s a game changer. Sometimes I catch myself apologizing in my head. Thinking things like “If you can read minds, I’m sorry I was just so mean about the number of anti-diarrhea pills you bought.” Or making my meanness sound not as mean, at least to myself… as in “That woman is totally compensating for her heinous face by having super-dyed and styled hair. BUT she does have really nice hair. Lady, if you’re listening to me right now, you have very nice hair.”

The thoughts I have are endless. I wish I could say that if I came across someone that could read my mind, I’d become a better person, but I know I wouldn’t. I would have two options. Never ever go near said telepath again OR make them my best friend with no lies between us. Let’s be real though, the former sounds like a much easier option.

I’m just waiting for the day that someone turns to me and says “WHAT did you just think about me?!” Because there has to be at least one person somewhere that is telepathic. I hope I don’t ever run in to that person, though. Because then everyone, not just the select people I complain to all day everyday, will know my true nature.