I want to start off with a disclaimer: I love all of my friends. Whether from high school, college, or post-grad life, I have so many amazing friends in my life and I am so thankful for each and everyone one of them. That being said:
Living with my boyfriend has shed some light on his interactions with his friends. He has two best friends, one that lives close by and one that lives about 2 hours away. The local BF and my boyfriend play games through their phones each day (like Words With Friends and Chess), text each other funny inside jokes periodically throughout the day, and stop by and have lunch with each other usually at least once a week. They also enjoy an occasional trip to the casino together without anyone else. The friend in NYC and E talk on the phone every now and then, but hang out any time they can fit in a visit and are constantly texting and emailing each other funny links, quotes, etc. After witnessing these interactions for a few months I realized E has TWO best friends and I have NONE. This must be fixed.
Even though I have lots of good friends, I am now on the search for a best friend. There are a few things I am looking for in my best friend.
1. Views life from a positive perspective. No one wants to be friends with a Debbie Downer. I want to find a best friend that can look at the bright side of things. Life is so much more enjoyable that way.
(My new best friend will love running along the beach enjoying life!! )
2. Inside jokes. I would like to build up lots of inside jokes with my new best friend. Then we can text and email each other funny things related to our private jokes. But don’t worry, we won’t be those friends that make other people feel left out from their inside jokes. That shit is just rude.
This could be me and my new best friend telling inside jokes while on a fun camping trip!!
3. Won’t judge me. At my age, I just want to be who I am and enjoy my friends for who they are. No judgement, just good times!
4. Likes getting ridiculous. For those of you that know me, I love joking around and acting a bit ridiculous. I will need a friend who can at least enjoy being with me while I am in my element. The first example that comes to mind is dressing up like in ‘gangster’ clothes (including a tie-dye tank top and a bandanna on my head) and dancing to Carmen Electra’s strip tease video for my friends in college. So random, but hilarious.
And perhaps the most important of all:
5. Looking for a best friend as well. All of my current friends are spread so thin. Yes they are friends with me, but they also have 5r737490 friends they have to keep in contact and hang out with. I am lucky if I can schedule one lunch date a month with my friends in New Haven. This is the key to the friendships my boyfriend has with his best friends and how they are able to remain so close.
This list is all well and good, but now I have to find someone who meets the criteria. Have you ever tried to make a friend of the same gender at a neutral location like the gym or bookstore? It is awkward and difficult. When I used to drag my butt to the gym before work, I would see the same 20 people each morning. There was one woman that I wanted to make my friend and decided to strike up some conversation. As someone who has to converse with strangers for a living, I didn’t think this task would be so hard… but it was. I would get anxious waiting for an opportunity to arise where I could talk to her. Then when I did say something, I just sounded awkward and nervous. I made the mistake of finally speaking to her while relaxing in the sauna. Based on her reaction, I think she thought I was hitting on her. Opps. Not everyone will experience this type of anxiety around making new friends, but I don’t think anyone will say it is effortless.
So, perhaps by writing this post I will strike some interest in a potential friend. Until then, I am going to keep looking for a best friend… and working on my conversational skills (preferably while I am clothed). When I find her, I will let you all know!!!