Furry FB Friends

Well, it has been a while since I last posted. My apologies. I moved (yet again) this past weekend into an amazingly cute apartment… so I have been busy. Thankfully I have an hour free this afternoon to make a post!! Currently I am sitting in a Dunkin Donuts trying to enjoy a Pumpkin coffee (the Pumpkin is so delicious it gets a capital P!!!). I purposefully chose DD over Panera to avoid the Old People. You know how I hate them! But, alas, they have found me once again. And of course, they are settled right next to the ONLY table with an outlet. Figures. And this photo does not even do the group justice. There were about 12 of them total.

Anywho, I have a new topic to blog about this week. Before I start in, I would like you to do a little exercise with me. Please take a second to write down 2 or 3 things that really mean a lot to you. For example, I really care about my family and friends, being active, and helping my students realize their potential. Now keep that list close by. We will revisit it in a bit.

During a conversation with E this past weekend, he told me about a phenomenon that I was unaware of. Apparently there are people out there on the inter-web creating Facebook profiles for their pets. This is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. Pets can’t use computers. They have paws!! or fins!! Nor do they speak English. So a FB page for Sparky is just ludicrous. I had E send me an example of a Furry Friend on FB and… he isn’t lying!!

There are a few things I would like to comment on here. One is Pesky’s favorite things to do: “I enjoy biting my parents feet!”. Gross. Also, his birthday is listed, in addition to his single status. Do you think Pesky would really tell his ‘parents’ if he was shacking up with the bitch next door? Of course not. And no dog I have met is just looking for friendship! They are always humping something or someone… and you only do that with someone more than a friend! (hopefully)

If Pesky happens to father puppies with said bitch, will those puppies also get FB pages when they are of age? (Which would be about 2 years old because one human year is equal to 7 dog years)

I would also like to know how Pesky came about being Catholic/Christian? Did he go through communion?

I highly doubt that Pesky actually works for ‘Friends of Animals’. He would need a social security number for that. Simply put, this information is  purely fabricated… although I suppose many humans lie in their profiles too.

There are 300 photos of Pesky. This seems ridiculous to me. Is he tagged in all of those photos? Does Pesky upload photos of himself after a long walk through the park? Or playing with friends?

And finally, I find one thing to be the most pathetic of all: Pesky’s owners claim to be his ‘parents’ on Facebook and have linked their profiles with his. This is just sad. Unless both Jason and Lisa are half dog, there is no way they delivered Pesky. The saddest part, this link comes up on both of their profiles. (I am not even going to comment on this chick’s glamor/make out profile pic. Make your own judgments)

Can you imagine a potential employer checking out Lisa on Facebook and seeing the link to her ‘son’s’ profile page. This may seem trivial to you, but I would categorize that person as a weirdo with WAAAAAY too much time on his/her hands. Definitely a ‘Do Not Hire’. Eric also mentioned that Pesky comments on his ‘friends’ walls and statuses. How creepy is that? So if I were to post “Just got back from a long walk around downtown New Haven”, Pesky might comment something like “Lucky!!”.

So, now is the time to pull up your list of important things. If YOU have a profile for your pet on Facebook, please shut down the page. It is just pathetic. After [insert ridiculous pet name here]’s page is deactivated, you now are able to use all that free time on more important things – the things on your list! I just helped you make you life more productive. You are welcome.

Before I go, I thought of something interesting this morning. I stopped at a gas station this morning to get a cup of coffee at 7:25 am. The clerk who rung me out was talking to someone on the phone in a rapid and heated manner. Who do was he talking to? I mean, who is up that early and all fired up about gas station stuff?

Old people update: Most of them have left. The only two remaining are both guys, and one of them is a weird 40-something that apparently enjoys afternoons in the geriatric ward. They are talking about tools. I think they are TOOLS.

Oh, I almost forgot, E and I went out on Halloween as Juno and Paulie Bleeker. Nothing beats going to a bar dressed as a pregnant teenager. Nothing. I am waiting on a picture a friend took of both of us. Until then, this will have to do:

~ CoCo


One response to “Furry FB Friends

  1. Love the update blog! Very comical “Co co”!


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