When I went to school to Florida, I worked at an IHOP during my second semester. Neither Florida nor IHOP on their own are that bad/ghetto/redneck. But put those two together, and you’ve got the mecca of weirdos.
I recently rediscovered the livejournal I kept while living in Florida. There are some really great descriptions of the people I worked with and I thought I’d share them here because they are truley gems.
Nolan is the dishwasher guy. He has the words “thug” and “life” tattooed onto his forearms, among others. Whenever people talk to him, somehow they reference “when he gets out” I don’t have the slightest idea what that means, but i think he might be a criminal. Which makes the fact that he asked me out even scarier.
Yes, Nolan asked me out. And yes, he was on work release from prison. As in, the van from the jail would drop him off and pick him up when his shifted started and ended. In the time that I was there, he was actually promoted to short order cook. Goo job, Nolan! But in the last week I was there, he was released from prison and no longer worked at IHOP.
There’s this woman, her name is betty. She is the one that is training me and she is your classic diner waitress. She has fucked-up teeth with a huge gap in the middle and they’re nasty. She lives in a motel and has a boyfriend. I found out yesterday that she is married. to a man in NEW YORK. She doesn’t really know where he is but she needs a divorce for tax purposes.
We found a lizard in the sink yesterday. Nolan said that because it scared him it had to die.Then this very small woman, her name is sylvia, came over and picked the thing up and brought it outside. This was only after Nolan had tried to scald the lizard with hot water and sprayed degreaser on him.
A new kid started today. he is 19. he has a child. he is getting married tomorrow. As in he is going to the court house to get marriage lisence.
One of the cooks has really pretty hair. Her teeth are rotting out of her head and she is probably 28. (I later found out that the reason her teeth were so bad was because she drank straight lemon juice several times a day. I also found out that she was a lesiban, but had two children with a man whom she lived with. She also did time in jail for something I never found out. She would always complain about the shampoo they had in jail… it apparently smelled like strawberries)
There was a new woman who was training last night. She just got out of jail. She is under house arrest. OMG where does ihop find these people!?? shes pretty nice though. The reason she was in jail was because she was a crack addict and had snuck a cell phone into her halfway house, which was contraband. The reason she had even been in jail/halfway house was because she had been going to score and she was gangbanged and had her face beaten in with a mag-light. No, really, where does IHOP find people like this??
So those are just some of the people I worked with. There was the waitress that was high on pills and broke her hand because she punched her best friend who she thought was trying to steal her 19 year old boyfriend who also worked at IHOP. There was a cook who was 6’3″ and never spoke and the day shift guy who had so many tattoos on his arms they made him wear a longsleeve shirt everyday.