Wine + Pregnant Aspirations = ?

This post is probably only going to appeal to our female readers. Any man who reads this is probably going to run to his girlfriend’s nightstand and check that she has been taking the pill.

Back in my college days, I would pre-game with a bottle of wine. Yes, I said BOTTLE of wine. Just for me. Before I went out to the bars and/or frats. Now, at my tender age of 26, two glasses of wine is enough to get me buzzed… ok, let’s be honest, after two glasses of wine I am borderline drunk, especially if I drink a whole glass before I eat my dinner. While I do enjoy drinking wine, there are a few drawbacks. One of the main problems that arises when I consume vino is I tend to tell secrets. After about two glasses of wine, I have that glassy-eyed look and I get the urge to tell whoever I am with something no one else knows. While this situation can sometimes be funny, usually I end up feeling like an ass the next morning because I told some aquaintance about my tendency to go Number 2 twice a day and seek his advice as to whether or not this is normal.

Usually after 2 glasses of wine and dinner, my window for secret telling is small. After three glasses of wine, however, the situation goes downhill fast. Recently I have latched onto a particular topic of discussion after consuming my vino… I want to be pregnant. (And yes, I am aware of the irony of this situation). If I were married or engaged or even in a long-term relationship, such comments would probably not be such an issue. The real problem lies in the newness of the relationship I am in now. Although my new boyfriend is amazing, we haven’t even been dating for 6 months. When I first mentioned my desire to be pregnant (in slightly slurred speech), E responded “You are nuts. We are not going to have a baby right now”. I may also add I am pretty sure he broke out into a cold sweat during this conversation which was inevitably followed up with a google search of “IUD effectiveness’.

My response to E’s comment was “Ewww. I don’t want a baby. I said I want to be pregnant. There is a total difference!” I absolutely cannot imagine having a small child with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week requiring my full and undivided attention. I can, however, envision myself with a perfect pregnant glow, taking pre-natal yoga classes in my recently purchased Lululemon Atheltica yoga wear, and talking about all the best Doctors and Midwives in the New Haven area with my other fun and hipster pregnant friends. I will obviously buy a new wardrobe of cute pregnant clothes and spend my days looking super trendy going out to lunch my lamaze class friends or talking to strangers in the grocery store who want to know everything about my soon-to-be buddle of joy.

Let me explain where this longing to be pregnant came from. Almost two years ago my boss told me she was pregnant. I then spent the next 10 months working side by side with her through her pregnancy. I would be home in my apartment, cooking dinner, and realize I was rubbing my abdoman like my boss did all day long. Thats when it started. Right now BOTH of my co-workers wives are pregnant. One is due in November and one in March. All I hear is baby talk. And to top it off, my boyfriend’s sister is quite possibly the cutest pregnant woman alive. She is always fluttering around her house, baking delicious treats and hanging seasonal decorations. I NEED TO BE PREGNANT. All of these women make it look so easy and enjoyable. Sure there are some less desireable aspects, but having an extra 300 calorie-a-day allowance and a reason to take low-impact exercise classes for almost a year sounds pretty amazing to me!

I am not, however, in a position to be getting pregnant. So for now, I will try and live vicariously through my boyfriend’s sister, co-workers wives, and my friend on Teen Mom.

Sidenote: E and I have decided on our Halloween costumes. I will be sure to post pictures early next month. Also, look forward to a blog post after I attend my first NFL game on Oct. 31st!!!



One response to “Wine + Pregnant Aspirations = ?

  1. Two words: Stretch marks…

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