Happy Hump Day Blog Readers!!
Let me start off my clarifying something. I don’t actually stay at motels when I travel for work. I just thought the title of this blog post sounded better with motels than hotels. Moving on…
Due to the nature of my job, I travel quite a bit during the fall. I actually rather enjoy traveling by myself all over CT, PA, NJ, MD, and DC (those are the states my job takes me to on a regular basis). I have, however, experienced a lot of amusing things during my travels that I wish I could have shared with other people first hand. Lucky for me, I have a blog and can share some of my road stories with you via ‘Wise Sisters’.
I have picked up a few strange habits while staying at hotels by myself. Being a young female I always request two keys when I check into a hotel. I started doing this because my mom would pester me about being ‘careful’ while staying overnight away from home. I am not exactly sure what she meant by that, though. I mean, did she think I was walking into the hotel lobby and shouting “I am staying here all by myself in room 407 and I have a decent laptop… if anyone wants to steal it while I am out working tomorrow during the day!!” ?? I only did that once. And boy did I learn. Anyway, I ask for two key cards at the front desk and then make up some story about why my boyfriend is going to join me later. Usually the story consists of him competing in some weight lifting championship or ultimate fighting challenge. I figure that way, no one will mess with me… because of my ridiculously strong and powerful boyfriend joining me in my hotel room any minute.
Driving to and from my work locations is usually uneventful. Every now and again I will get hit on by a truck driver. You may be wondering: how does a truck driver hit on someone while he is driving? Oh, it is so simple. I tend to wear a fair amount of skirts and dresses to work, which may leave a small sliver of my thigh exposed while driving. Truck drivers have a perfectly creepy view of this from their high above driver’s seat. Now mind you, the sleeze-ball cannot see my face, just the one inch of leg by the steering wheel. This view can sometimes provoke a truck driver to honk his horn at me. This first happened to me while driving home from PA on I-78. The tractor trailor truck and my car were the only vehicles on the road for miles. The guy honked at me. I thought maybe something was wrong with my car, so I pulled over to the right lane. Then he pulls into the left lane and drives up beside me and proceeds to keep honking. This happened for miles. Honestly, I was panicking. I thought something was really wrong with my car and he was trying to tell me something, but upon further inspection, nope. He was just hitting on me via his truck horn.
I wonder what exactly the truck driver thought I was going to do? Did he think I was going to flash him a little more leg? Or perhaps pull over to the side of the road and suggest a quickie? In that case, he has only seen my leg. What if he gets out of the truck and decides he isn’t interested anymore? Awkward. But who am I kidding. Truck drivers that hit on women by honking at incessantly will take any ass they can get. Gross. And pathetic. And, I am sad to say, this has happened to me 3 times in the last year.
Many times I will have a few hours free between work appointments. Occasionally I will go shopping. Ok, ok, more than occasionally. I shop almost everyday, but I don’t always buy anything. Once I exhaust my resources (aka meandered the aisles of Marshalls, TJMaxx, and Target), I need something else to take up a few hours of my time. My favorite space filler is going to the movies; however, it can be awkward. The disgruntled high school drop-out working the movie theater ticket box at 1 pm on a Tuesday is baffled by me. Here I am, a young, professionally dressed woman going to see the latest romantic comedy or thriller (Sidenote: this past week I have seen ‘Case 39’, ‘The Social Network’, and ‘Let Me In’… only the social network is worth seeing, but I didn’t think it was as good as it is hyped up to be) all on my lonesome. The ticket person will usually question “Just one?”. I reply “Yes, just one”. Thanks asshole… for pointing out the obvious.
The best is when I order snacks for myself. The next angry employee working behind the snack stand stares at me awkwardly as I approach. I order a Medium Diet Coke (if I haven’t smuggled in my own Diet Dr. Pepper, which is my carbonated beverage of choice) and a small popcorn without butter. Inevitably the snack bar person will put butter on my popcorn because it is sooooo hard to serve the ONE person in the lobby correctly. I then have to ask for a new bag and deal with the annoyed stares. Finally, I head towards the theater.
The worst part of watching a movie by yourself is the side glances from other movie goers… especially couples. I can see them looking at me, and then whispering things like “that is so sad” or “oh, I could NEVER go to the movies by myself”. When you watch a movie at 1:20 pm during the week, there usually aren’t too many people in the audience. This just makes the situation worse. Last week I saw a movie with just me and another couple in the theater. The guy walked past me and gave me this disturbing look. I thought about why he had any reason to be angry at me. Then I realize he probably thought he could cross ‘BJ in a movie theater’ off his bucket list if I wasn’t there. Sorry. Guess you will have to drag your unemployed ass to the movies again next week.
Switching to a more important topic: what should I be for Halloween?? I really need some suggestions. Any and all are welcome.