Practicality Vs. Style

First, I’d like to add to my sister’s drunkenness post. Alcohol also makes it acceptable to cry. uncontrollably. to the point that you are no longer just regularly crying, but you are scream-crying. Don’t pretend you don’t know what scream-crying is, you’ve either done it or you’ve seen someone else do it. You could have even seen me do it, that’s how often I end up balling my eyes out. The last time I cried, I was also found lying on the ground behind a tree. No idea how that happened or why that was an appealing place for me to go. But here’s what I really came to post about:

There are some things that have gone out of style and should stay that way. The mullet for example. That will never be in style again (though I’m not sure if it was ever in fashion to have business in the front, party in the back). I have a personal story involving me actually having a mullet, but I’ll save that for another day. Right now, I’d like to ask why  the fanny pack is no longer en vogue. I think its one of the most practical stuff-carrying apparatuses ever.

The purse is bulky. It requires a shoulder to be carried and can sometimes limit mobility. The wristlet has its problems too. Yea, it goes on your wrist and is small but it still take away a hand. Its nice when you’re going somewhere you can put your stuff down but other than that, the wristlet is just an annoying thing that continually bounces off of your wrist and knocks things over. The clutch is pretty much the same, except more annoying because you don’t even have the option to leave it slung around your wrist. Instead, you are forced to hold it in your hand; clutch it, really. Pants pockets are always an option. Though for those of us that have flat butts and no cushion, sitting on our cell phones is less than comfortable. Front pockets just look dumb, unless its just a chapstick you’re trying to carry in there.

The fanny pack is a whole other story. It’s hands free! It doesn’t remove any of your ability to move! It doesn’t knock things over or cause you pain! No, the fanny pack is perfect. You can put so much stuff in that pack. A cell phone, wallet, and snack would fit in there comfortably. And there’s such easy access! Its right there on your person ready to go. So why can’t we wear fanny packs? They’re so practical, people should over look their social stigma and start wearing them again! Long live the fanny!

They even come in cool patterns! Retro and chic. Coach and Gucci make them! So why are they so uncool?

I don’t think that I’m going to buy one at this point in my life. Too many people would make fun of me openly and a whole slew more would judge me silently. But if you don’t have to worry about your reputation, I definitely recommend the fanny pack.


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