I had a conversation with some friends today about the TLC show I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. It is by far, 100% positively, the most terrifying show on television. How could you not know you were pregnant for 9 whole months? I mean, there’s something actually growing inside of you and you have no idea? That seems a bit farfetched; there are just too many signs that shouldn’t be missed.

I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant is not just a TLC special, or even just a few episodes. No, the show is an actual series. There are enough women who did not know they were pregnant and then gave birth to make many many episodes that have about 3 stories each. That’s ridiculous and should make the female population shudder with fright.

There is one episode that I would like to talk about, however. A woman doesn’t know she is pregnant (obviously, as the name implies) and goes on a camping trip. She has severe stomach pains and moves from her tent to the dirty cement camp ground bathroom. Here, she tries to take a shit but (again, obviously) cannot. She then calls her boyfriend in to look at what may or may not be coming out of her. He looks and determines that her intestine must be what is visible. And so, the woman stands there and lets her baby fall to the ground. Why wouldn’t she try to catch that? Even if she thought that it was her innards, wouldn’t you attempt to save them? I certainly wouldn’t want dirty cement touching my guts. So the child falls to the ground. She does not spring into action as one would hope. Instead she stares at the fetus creature that has just fallen from her womb. Thankfully, a RN that happened to be staying in the campground came to the rescue and prevented anyone from dying. Though, I think she should have reevaluated saving the mother. She clearly is an unfit human being and the RN would have just been helping out natural selection by NOT aiding the situation.

I have another favorite episode with a woman who gives birth to twins in a McDonald’s bathroom, but that’s for another time.

Speaking of twins, I’d like to discuss Kate Gosselin and the litter she popped out. Have you seen a picture of her pregnant belly? BLEH. I googled it and couldn’t find a picture good enough to put up because all of the ones that are online now are ones of Kate skinny. But regardless, it was still gross. There’s a picture of it in the opening credits of Jon and Kate Plus Eight and I often get goosebumps after viewing it.

Speaking of multiples, how about those Duggars? 20, eh? That’s how many you want? Michelle better cut it out. Her vag must have turned into a slide by now and soon Jim Bob won’t even want to make more babies with her. Graphic, I know. And I apologize, but someone had to say it and it just happened to be me.

On a different note, it’s not even September and I’m getting very concerned that I do not have any idea what I’m being for Halloween. Just throwing that out there, feel free to throw some stuff back.



One response to “Babies.

  1. i don’t understand that show. i almost constantly think i’m pregnant and can turn all symptoms of anything into a sign of pregnancy. yesterday i was so convinced i took a test. like, no period for nine months….hey wonder what that could be.

    and you should be a lady from i didn’t know i was pregnant for halloween. duh.

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