I had a conversation with some camp counselors friends of mine recently, and an idea, a brilliant one at that, was born.
As children, many people are frightened of the doctor’s office. Shots and finger pricks are the arch nemesis of those in elementary school. Physicals are dreaded and even thinking about throat cultures makes kids everywhere gag. Like dogs, children cower in the corner of their rooms when their mom says “It’s time to go to the Doctor’s!”
But parents everywhere can rejoice, I have the solution to the Doctor Blues: Doctors will no longer be called doctors, but instead astronauts. No one is afraid of astronauts. In fact, most small children want to be astronauts when they grow up. Instead of going for a physical, kids would be going for an alien check or clearance to go to space! There would be no more syringes, just space equipment that pinched a little bit. No more of those q-tips down your throat, just space probes looking for foreign objects of moon rocks.
And the waiting room! Space-themed all the way. Rocket ship chairs and only space toys to play with. Instead of getting stickers at the end of the appointment that say things like “Be nice to me! I got a shot today”, kids would get bags of that freeze-dried space ice cream or those pens that write in zero-gravity.
There would be no paper on those cot-bed things. In fact, there would be no cot bed thing at all. Rocket ship beds with space blankets is the only way to complete the Astronaut’s office.
So even if the procedure the kid has to endure is less than fun, at least they can have a great time while they’re at the Astronaut’s. So if anyone knows someone I could pitch this idea too, perhaps a doctor friend (soon to be astronaut friend) let me know ASAP, we’ve gotta get on this.