Patience is a virtue, this I know. But I hate waiting for people to return my texts. I know you have your cell phone. You know you have your cell phone. Let’s not make this too complicated. Text. Me. Back. While expressing my impatience with a few co-workers, I was criticized for expecting people to text while driving. “That’s illegal! They could get fined!!” My response: you will hit a stop light at some point. Text me then. Or… how about you call me on your fancy Bluetooth!
The initial novelty of the Bluetooth has thankfully begun to wear off. Obviously I want everyone to be safe while driving, so a hands-free device was much needed. However, what drives me crazy is when people wear their Bluetooth OUTSIDE of their car. First of all, who is really that important? Are you so powerful and almighty that you cannot be bothered to hold the phone to your ear? And you know the guy in Dunkin Donuts chirping away on his Bluetooth is not a CEO of some Fortune 500 company. (One of the few exceptions to this rule is anyone responsible for a small child or, lord help them, multiple small humans. Those squirmy things require two hands at all times.) Secondly, do you know how dumb I feel when I think you are talking to me in some PUBLIC area when you are really talking on your Bluetooth???
The worst offender is the grocery store Bluetooth talker. A few weeks ago I was perusing the baking aisle looking for some sort of amazing dessert to make in hopes of scoring a boyfriend. A woman was silently staring at the shelves a few feet away from me when she asked “Which brand of pie crust is the best? Nabisco or Pillsbury?” After looking around and noticing only myself and this woman in the aisle, I answered her question. Clearly she was talking to me. Or was she? The woman spun around and glared at me. After giving me a nasty “how dare you talk to me” look, she said “Pillsbury. Ok. Sounds good. I will be home in a few.” Then I saw it. That annoying little blue flashing light from her ear. OOOHHHHH, I’m sorry I didn’t magically know you were talking to the quarter-sized device in the ear NOT facing me.
If you insist on being obnoxious and wearing your Bluetooth outside of your car, please, PLEASE do not give strangers death stares when they accidentally think you are talking to them. It is just rude. And makes me want to snatch that thing out of your ear and throw it far, far away.
Because I do not want to end my post on such a negative note, I would like to personally thank Ashley Conrad for all of her recent hard work. For those of you that don’t know, Ashley Conrad is the personal trainer that prepared Bradley Cooper’s workouts and meal plans to get him in shape for the A-Team movie. Although the movie wasn’t fantastic, Bradley looked DELICIOUS. So thank you Ms. Conrad, for blessing this world with Bradley’s abs.